Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
