69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
