Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
