I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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