Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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