that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
