Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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