Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
