If that was your dad, he is hot
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
