am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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