A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
