Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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