Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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