If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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