Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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