I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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