I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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