i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Naked Twister starts at high noon
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
