That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize