Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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