I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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