How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
