I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
