Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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