im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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