Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
