Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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