You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
