hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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