1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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