do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
