What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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