You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
