trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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