is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
