i was born a porn star she said
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize