she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
