what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
