How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
