ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize