i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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