I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
