So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
