first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
