ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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