We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
