It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
