do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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