A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
