someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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