Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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