You're a womanizer and a bitch.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
