when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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