Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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