there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
No subtext here. People are naked.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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