My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
