he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
