I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
