try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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