Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
