I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
