I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
