I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
this beer tastes like vomit already
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize