mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
where are you?
Hypothermia
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just forgot I was standing up.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
