Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
